Welcome to this dusty blog of mine. Eh wait, not that dusty la considering my last post was on the 3rd October? *ahaha* Anyway, if you don't already know, I safely delivered our baby girl, Marissa Aulia on the 5th of October 2015 (cantikkan birthdate dia, 5.1015?? :D). Hence there was no blog updates because I need time to recover, to get healthy and of course to get back my 'mojo'. I am currently in my confinement period now, several weeks to go. Baby Marissa is 3 weeks old today, how time flies! My husband just started work today (so sad) but he has been on leave for 3 weeks! *hehehe* I am in the mood to update the blog today since this is my heart to heart series. This post is definitely more personal therefore I don't really need to review or take any photos. I have quite a number of pending review posts, but don't worry dear clients, those blogposts will be up Insyaallah within this 2 - 3 weeks. I just need to find some time here and there, I'm still adjusting so please bare with me! :)

So this is going to be a long and lengthy post with most probably one picture only, so go get your coffee, tea, drinks, snacks whatever and make yourself comfortable coz oh boy, you gonna get a neck pain. :P

My due date was actually on the 20th October 2015 but due to my irregular period cycle, the doctors were having problem determining my exact due date. Based on the last first day of my period, my due date was supposed to be on the 23rd September but based on the sized of my baby through ultrasound, the due date is 20th October. In the beginning, I did my checkup at Hospital Umra, Shah Alam because my husband and I were staying with my in-laws in Klang during my early pregnancy. Then we went to Klinik Kesihatan to get the pink book for our baby. It is said to be very important to have record (the pink book) in case there's any complication with the baby so being a kiasu, I know that I needed that book! We actually did my check up twice at Klinik Kesihatan since it's free but seriously the 3 - 4 hours of waiting is really toying with my patience. *ahaha* seriously not for those who doesn't like to wait. I had my check up at Hospital Umra about 6 or 7 times. Per visit at Hospital Umra costs about RM100++ depending if you need any medications or not. The highest I got charged was about RM250 if I'm not mistaken. We were considering to deliver there and the charge is about RM2.1k (without epidural) and Caesarean is  about RM 6k++ if I'm not mistaken. 

Anyway, after Eid my husband and I moved to our new home in KL so it is impossible to go to Shah Alam. Can you imagine if there's any emergencies? Pengsan la! Anyway, our new home is so close to Prince Court Medical Centre (PCMC) so that is the best choice. Luckily there's a slot with one of the Obstetrician on Monday (28th September) so we just go ahead and set an appointment with him. The appointment went well and the doctor asked me how I feel about getting induced on my 38 weeks (5th Oct)? I was not expecting that actually but he pointed out his concern about my irregular period and the due date given earlier by previous doctors. After consideration and discussion with my husband, we decided to proceed with doctor's suggestion and I need to admit into hospital on the 4th  Oct (night).

We checked in at PCMC around 10pm and once registration and all is settled, I changed into my glamourous PCMC gown and the staff nurse made a through check up on me. Since I'll be induced the next day, she needed to insert a contraction medicine inside me to start the opening. Yes, proses seluk tu mmg sakit ye. :(  Anyway she inserted the medicine and the next morning at 5 am, it has opened up to 1cm. Then I got ready to be placed in the labour room now. It was 6 am, and I was getting ready for my epidural shot. I am not gonna lie girls, it's so freaking painful. A needle going into your back bone is definitely not pleasant. :( But I needed to toughen up and face it and luckily my husband was there to hold me. The side effect of epidural might be different for everyone but as for me, I was shivering for at least one - two hours after the shot. Seriously menggigil sampai gigi pun terketap-ketap. :( Fast forward at 10.30 am, doctor came in and checked on me. I already opened at 4cm and at this point he broke my air ketuban. Erkkk that feeling of water broke, rasa macam you accidentally peed whole lot on the bed! *heheh* :P

Starting from this point on, we were waiting for it to open up more but seriously it took longer. I'm not sure at what time the nurse gave the contraction medicine (drip type) to regulate my contraction but just to cut it short for you guys, the medicine did not go well with my baby because her heart beat increase up to 180. The normal heart beat rate is 120-160. You have no idea how scared I was that time and the doctor said it's not looking good and they needed to stop the contraction med immediately. By 3pm I am already open at 10 cm which is the perfect size for the baby to come out but my baby head position is in a higher position (kepala mendongak) so that is a problem. Dengan contraction yang very slow (since I am induced) I tried to push the baby out dalam masa one hour.  But sadly the baby won't come out. I was extremely tired because I've been in the labour room since 6 am. And did I mentioned that I had a fever on this particular day? Yeah. What a joy. Then the doctor tried to vacuum out the baby around 4pm, it just not gonna happened. The baby's heart beat dropped and it made everyone nervous. Then I heard he said to his nurses "Prepare for surgery". OMG! :'(

The doctor did mention about Caesarean section being our last option (somewhere around 2.30pm) but he wanted me to try pushed out the baby since my opening is already 10cm. Anyway all that didn't work, so I guess I have to give in to Caesarean. :( I was crying, I was scared. Not knowing what to expect. Never I thought I would go through Caesarean, I've always thought I would be the 'natural' type. Ahhh, it was chaotic in the labour room. They prep me for emergency Caesarean, oh gosh, I felt like I was in Grey's Anatomy emergency scene. I was taken from the 6th floor to the 1st floor (i think). Everything happened so quickly, in just 20 minutes I'm already on the operating table. Unfortunately, since this is an emergency operation, my husband is not allowed in the room. :( All I can do now is berserah dan tawakal pada Allah that everything will go smooth. All I can think of is my baby, please don't let anything happened to her. All I want is for her to be delivered safely into this world. I didn't even think about what's going to happen to me.

Everyone in the operating room was nice, they explained to me every step of the way what they gonna do to me. So when the anaesthetic kicks in, the surgery begins.  I was shivering due to the anaesthetic, shivering like mad. After 20 minutes, I heard that sweet sound of a crying baby. The nurses cleaned her up quickly before taking her to the nursery but of course they showed me her. The perfect snow white skin, that adorable chubby cheeks and her beautiful round eyes looking at me. Ahhhh, I can only cry, I cried because I am happy that you are safe and you are such  a beautiful baby. And you are OURS. :) The nurses said she immediately opened up her eyes once she's out of my tummy, gosh how precious you are my love. 

My precious Marissa is sleeping next to me now. She had her milk just now and she is sound asleep. Looking at her makes every pain, cries worth it because I have her in my arms forever. Mommy loves you baby. Mommy doakan Marissa panjang umur, jadi anak yang solehah, jadi orang yang penyanyang, bijak dan semoga Marissa jadi manusia yang cantik di luar and juga di dalam. Amin, Insyaallah. I wish only the best for you sayang. :')

To my husband Iwan, thank you for being such a great daddy even baru 21 days. I can tell you and her going to gang up on me someday and bully me. :) *hehehe* I know she's going to be a daddy's girl. I can see how much you love her by just talking to her and your eyes smile when you hold her in your arms. Thank you for being considerate and help me with her diapers, washing her milk bottles and just hold her whenever I am too exhausted. Thank you for always making sure whether I am okay every single day without fail. Basically thank you for helping me out and being my equal partner. I love you Izwan Helmi, so much, I am lucky to have you in my life. :')

Okay guys, I guess that's all for now. I've been editing some photos for my pending posts. Keep a look out ya? By the way, in case anyone (those who are planning to deliver in PCMC) is wondering how much everything costs for the induce, vacuum, Caesarean section, 5 days 4 nights stay in a single room, etc, you guys can privately email me ya. :)

Thanks for reading love. I really miss blogging, I'll be back full swing once my confinement period is done, sabaq na! :) Most probably by end of November I'll be in my normal posting routine. :D